A Goodbye Story --Be Present, Appreciate Each Moment

When we lose a loved one...

My friend is leaving for vacation today, but yesterday had a tale to tell.  My parting words to her on the telephone...

"You are excited about where you are going tomorrow and you feel good about where you've been today.  You will sleep well."

...the perfect elixir for anyone who ever worries or frets about the past or the future, is going to bed satisfied with the day's accomplishments 
while looking forward to the possibilities of tomorrow.

Where is the pharmacy to purchase a big supply? 

Truth is, we are well supplied
naturally.

Appreciate the moment right now for what it is.  Stop everything.  Assess.  In this moment I'm alive, breathing, an integral part of life's momentum.  I cannot change the past, nor predict the future with certainty. 

It's my choice in this moment to smile or frown,
demonstrate love or hold back,
reach out or close up,
create or stagnate. 
Take a deep breath of appreciation,
or almost forget my little shallow breaths, suspending feelings and connection. 

It's my moment.  It's your moment.
As is the next. 
And the next...

When we lose a loved one we often take note of these moments.  Each one becomes excruciatingly vivid and meaningful.  Perhaps we walk alongside in their last moments.  Or we sit spellbound listening to the one who did, as they relate each detail.  The narrative so simple, so profound...sears into our consciousness.

We are present.

When my friend called yesterday, she told of a visit to Albany to pay respects.  There she listened to the story of a wife, a mother, a friend of many years detailing her husband's final hours.  She heard the doctor's words from the afternoon visit, "You have put up a good fight.  You've done all you could have done.  It's time for hospice now." 

She heard about the daughter's visits...their goodbyes. 

Then her friend shared the moments before bedtime as she propped up her husband of so many years, in his favorite chair--his computer chair which was cushiony, the most comfortable place where she made sure he had a blanket on his lap to keep warm-- and how she moved another chair with sturdy arms next to his computer chair so he could use these sturdy arms to hoist himself up if a trip to the bathroom became necessary.  She knew she had made him as comfortable as possible, and he was right where he wanted to be.  Saying "Goodnight," she turned and climbed the stairs to her bed, expecting he would join her whenever his computer chair time was over. 

He said, "Goodnight," and watched her leave the room.  Their parting.  Loving.  Comfortable. 

Each of those moments narrate the poignant ending.  Most certainly poignant for the wife left behind, and the daughters.  But also poignant to my friend listening, and then hours later, to me on the other end of the phone as my friend tells the story. 

Here on this page as my words repeat it yet again...the cushiony computer chair...

Simple moments of love and life. 
The appreciated moments are the important ones.

Appreciate the moment right now for what it is. 
I cannot change the past, nor predict the future with certainty.

No matter what the past was, no matter what the future will be, this is the important moment.  Right now.

When we grasp this,
we can apply my parting words to my friend on the phone to every evening of our lives.

"You are excited about where you're going tomorrow
and you feel good about where you've been today
...you will sleep well tonight."

~~~~~~~~~