Saturday, February 26, 2011

Ascending

February 27th, Sunday morning, I'll share the stairwell with thousands of climbers in "Hustle Up the Hancock's" stair race to the 94th floor.  My half-climb starts on the 42nd floor and ends 816 steps later in the skyscraper's observatory at the very top.  My visualization of that moment has empowered the many weeks of preparation.

Today's visualization, lofty and grandiose, will no doubt differ from the actual experience tomorrow. There will be time enough when it's all over, for the details of reality. 

For right now, I accept the lofty and grandiose side of my personality--today's visualization of tomorrow's climb:

This is not a test.  I already proved I can do it last weekend at a friend's high-rise.

I climb for the child in me who wants to play--with others, outside, every day--but who was not allowed.

I climb for the girl in me who didn't have an opportunity to be pushed physically by excelling in a sport.

I climb for the young adult in me who sought and searched, paid dues, settled down and closed down.

I climb for the mother in me who willingly poured everything possible into my children and forgot about myself.

I climb for the wife in me who continues to learn every day how to bring a better "me" to the relationship.

I climb for God's spirit in me which guides my steps.

I climb for the goal-seeker in me, the bull-dog in me, and the tenderness.

I climb for those who can't.

I climb for today.

One hundred to health.
Two hundred to fitness.
Three hundred to love.
Four hundred to the sun.
Five hundred to inspiration.
Six hundred to gratitude.
Seven hundred to creativity

and

Eight hundred to connectivity.

I carry words, calls, messages, looks and hugs of love and support with me all the way.

I climb the last sixteen steps, to Honor--

     16  my breath
     15  my history
     14  my family
     13  my words
     12  arms
     11  legs
     10  thoughts
       9  emotions
       8  decisions
       7  ideas
       6  water
       5  wakefulness
       4  sleep
       3  sight

       2    vision

                 and

       1          ...the moment!

I walk through the open door, out of the stairwell,
and into the light...

One step at a time.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

29. Words From the Sky After Five Weeks at FitcampSD



Saturday February 12, 2011


Inside the walk-in closet, door closed, pulling a purple turtleneck over head, heart and heat of my San Diego winter, I prepare for my midwest homecoming.  Next, jeans, wool jacket and fuzzy long scarf--looped around the neck hanging loose, saying, "Not quite yet...there's a 7:00 a.m. sun rising over the bay and glistening waves sweeping the ocean steps away."


Sliding into leather clogs, warm socks meet the stiff platform heels--fortifying with height for my re-entry into Chicago's winter.


Surfers already made their post-sunrise run past the beach house.  Immersed in deep blue and white waves, they transition between oblivion and exhilaration. Wave to wave...they watch and wait.


Opening the closet door, I drag my suitcase to the stairs, not looking back.  I know I left nothing behind.  It's over.


For five weeks I made post-sunrise runs into my life on Mission Beach.  Daily early morning walks along the bay, afternoon journeys beach-side on the ocean--wave after wave of oblivion and exhilaration.  Meditation, deep sun rays--one wave.  Daily outdoor workouts, another...


I waited to see what each wave would bring.


Some were small discoveries like the beauty of multiple windsurfers across the sunset horizon, or an unexpected sand dollar washing up to my feet at water's edge.  One day, unexpected conversation and sharing with a neighbor, another, joyful talks with far away friends on the phone while walking the boardwalk.


Waves...


Others were surprising, as a friend decided to visit from Phoenix.  We cooked together, relishing our healthy meals.  We strained our muscles, then cooled down together in Fitcamp on the bay before laughing around a fire with friends.


Waves...


Some tightened inner strings of sorrow and helplessness while wondering how to help another on her own private journey, yet knowing it is her private journey.


Waves...


Some leapt with frivolous freedom--joking through a particularly tough part of the trainers' circuit, or exposing a fellow-Fitcamper to the delights of Trader Joe's.  Later, watching her face exude pure glee and happiness at the thought of having her car interior detailed--a symbol of her new "life-detailing" which includes breaking a ten-year addiction to daily fast food drive-through windows.


Now I sit buckled into United's 12C.  The pilot tells us in a few minutes we'll have a nice view on the right side, of Lake Tahoe.  In my I-Pod world the Black Crows sing, "I'm see'n things for the first time, see'n things for the first time, see'n things for the first time in my life."


Waves...


I rode some big ones:
 
Working through unfinished business with mother, who passed away sixteen years ago--deep into that wave. 

Realizing dedication to 100-150 squats and lunges per day, with 60-90 push-ups, lord-knows-how-many planks, curls, lifts, stretches and variations thereof, does far more than contour a body.  It also eliminates back pains, gives new energy, and heals whatever ails you if accompanied by proper fuel (healthy eating,) love, faith and friendship--a long steady ride.

Reaching back to help a new friend on the same rung of this life-ladder I lingered on for so many years--satisfying ride.

Preparing to see my husband after four weeks, when he flew in to join us at Fitcamp--rode that one high.

It's fitting to end this journey crunching "Simply Naked Bagel Chips" dipped in lemon-pepper tuna again, just as I began it on January 8th.  I'm out of the water, back on land, carrying my board home.  All I've learned, felt, experienced and shared, tucked underneath my arm.

I'll climb 52 flights of stairs on February 27th in the "Hustle Up The Hancock" stair climb, girded with the strength gained from every move made in these last five weeks, buoyed by inspiration from my family, friends and trainers.  Each step I take will not only take me closer to the 52nd floor, but will also take me closer to the top of the mountain on my 60th birthday in October.

I raise United's "Sunrise Sunset" cocktail to my lips past the purple turtleneck...

Edgar Winters is singing my parting words today:

You know I used to weave my words into confusion,
and I hope you'll understand me when I'm through. 
You know I used to live my life as an illusion,
but reality will make my dreams come true.



I owe much thanks to FitcampSD's trainers, Rhonda, Carisse and Palani.  Six days a week, we met in Mission Bay Park to work out together.  Every day was a little different, always challenging, always fun. After five weeks I feel so much better physically, stronger, and more confident.  Getting in touch with working to make my body stronger, enabled work to strength many other areas of my life also.  Way to go FitcampSD! 


Cheryl, Rhonda, Carisse, Palani