The Big Question -- Part 5

1) Why am I doing this?
2) What trips me up?
3) Is it even possible to do better?
4) Am I capable of doing more, faster?
5) What makes me stop?
6) What's next?
7) Do I give up this crazy dream?



Quick answer:  I haven't put in enough work...trained hard enough.   Extreme success requires extreme preparation!



Longer, contemplative answer:

A recent Facebook message queries, "Tell me, what seems to hold you back? Do your legs tire, or does your cardiovascular system get overloaded?"

I click inside the "Reply" box, but have no answer for the keyboard.  I think, well of course it's my cardiovascular system. However, this year, I'm stronger in that area than last. I stop on the stairwell less frequently, therefore my legs are feeling new levels of stress.  I go back and forth, but formulate no reply.

The questions follow me over the next few days, evolving into one issue,
"What makes me stop?"

I stop following a healthy eating plan each time I reach a weight goal.
I stop writing, sometimes for a few days, others, months at a time.
I stop trying to get my book published.
I stop building my client base...
Stop. Stop. Stop.

In addition to these areas, even the very physical act of raising one foot in front of the other, climbing a flight of stairs, is stopped by doubts and fear.

That's what holds me back.

My doubts arise from self-judgement.  

I tighten in fear of my cardiovascular system failing me.  
I doubt the strength of my legs which have always taken me readily to the top in the past. 

At the beginning of a stair climb, joyful exhilaration blocks out the negatives.  Fear can only exist when joy leaves the stairwell.  

Perhaps joy is too much to ask at floor fifty-nine, seventy-nine or eighty-nine...
To keep pushing hard at those points? 
To keep going then? 
Time for faith. Time for grace. 
Time to find every positive inner resource possible,
to replace any doubts or fear.

I have a lot to learn.  I suspect athletes develop this positive mental attitude over years of training and performance.

Each challenge is an open possibility and I get to determine the outcome.

I determine it by my choices of food to fuel my body, the amount of rest I get, how much water I drink, my training, my workouts, my trust, my faith and my vision.

If I climb with the (borrowed from Scott Jurick) mantra, "This is what I came for," each step is my opportunity to reach new heights.

If  3  is who I am,  1  +  2  =  3

1.  Put in the work.
2.  Believe and stay positive.
 
In Rich Roll's book, Finding Ultra, his wife's words of encouragement at the start of his five marathons in five days:
"Remember it's already done;
all you have to do is show up,
stay present
and show us who you really are."

********

100% Positive Experience, every step of the way,
climbing Cathedral Rock Trail last October with friends and family.