After a quick snack of oatmeal or nuts to start the day, I walked out the cottage door of my vacation rental, on to the boardwalk of the bay just steps away. The first two weeks I greeted each morning walking briskly along the sand, up to the park, curving around by the roller coaster, and circling back, across Mission
Boulevard along the ocean. Sun fresh off the dawn, flocks of birds gathering quietly along the water, an occasional "snowbird" or two crossing my path--an idyllic two-mile start to the day.
Attending a daily Fitcamp in San Diego on the bay, I committed to working out twice a day and adding on as many walks by the sea as possible. My goal was to make a difference! I wanted the difference of feeling fit. I wanted the difference of being physically prepared for an athletic event, as my first stair climb was February 2011, a half-climb of the John Hancock building in Chicago.
My friends and trainers taught and encouraged, inspired and supported. They reminded me, "It's all about the journey." I said I understood.
What I really wanted was to magically turn into a lean, fit athlete. Something inside me was crying out for it. Overweight since the mid 80's, I needed to move. Not having moved for so many years, I didn't know how to make myself keep moving.
I wanted to be strong. I didn't know how to push myself to the necessary limits.
I needed to accomplish, overcome, be victorious. Finally I believed in walking forward without hesitation into every opportunity life offered. I believed, "The time is now!"
Two weeks into this experience, walking along the bay one morning, I think it's time to run. I tell myself it's impossible, I can't breathe, I just cannot do it. Physically, I pick up one foot and then the other a little higher, a little quicker, and watch the street signs go by -- Avalon, Balboa, Brighton... I have to stop and walk again. Really, two blocks?
The next day I make it three, to Capistrano, and that's where I stay for many days. It seems that my little three-block run is as far as I can go.
Then one morning as I start my jog at Avalon, Coldplay is on my i-Pod singing about being stuck in reverse, losing something, wasting love, lights guiding you home, and best of all, igniting your bones...and I keep running. The guitar picks up a steady faster rhythm in the instrumental section and the percussion flares up...stronger ...more guitar...the song swells..."Tears stream down your face," ...and sure enough tears are streaming down my face.
I pass Balboa, Brighton, Capistrano, then Cohasset, Coronado, Deal...music is inside me, driving the crescendo of emotion running through me and then there's San Gabrielle Place, and just another block I'll reach Devon Ct. ..."when you lose something you cannot replace,"...yes, all these years...
..."I promise you I will learn from my mistakes"...and I'm promising myself.
Devon Court! I start walking again at Devon. I laugh because back in Chicago, Devon Avenue is a few blocks from my home. The music slows, coming to an end...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Brushing tears from the corner of my eyes as these words become my vow to myself from that moment on,
I know the light which guides me.
The journey Carisse and Palani talk about continues. I did not magically become a super-fit athlete by February of 2011. I haven't broken any records (yet.)
I am healthy.
Sometimes I feel like everything's ignited!
I'm taking care of myself,
already preparing for the fall season of stair climbing.
Understanding a bit more,
a good way down the road,
enjoying a look back
at this journey.
No comments:
Post a Comment