SkyRise Chicago, Willis Tower 2012

Photo taken after the race this morning.

One only has those first few minutes after a race, in which it's appropriate to wear your participant medal, so after leaving Willis Tower, I proudly march into Anne Sather's Sunday morning crowd, so adorned.

There is nothing poetic about actually climbing the steps of one hundred and three floors.  This is my thought as I ravenously (as in greedy for gratification and protein) devour an avocado wrap and cottage cheese for breakfast.

I express this observation to my husband and daughter sitting across from me and my shiny gold medal draped around my neck. 

I also wonder, "What can I possibly write in a blog about my experience?"  It was step after step, flight after flight, floor after floor, yes, again and again, the same...struggle, over and over.  At least that's the case from about floor 13 or 14 on.  The first few floors always feel great.  They move right along, I breath normally-- just another day walking up some steps.

By floor 25, I hit the wall my mind builds, which says, if I don't stop to catch my breath, I can't go on.  I indulge, but ever so briefly.  And thus begins my pattern.

Today holds a new variable.

 

 

While standing in line to begin the race, who pops up by my side but Jesse, my trainer. He ran at 7:00 a.m. with the elites.  I ask how he did, and in his humble way he answers, "Good, but not great."  I find out later that he won the race by climbing the 2,109 steps in 13:59! Very impressive. 

I begin to realize what his presence in line means--he's going to go up again, with me. I worked hard this last week, to put aside my fears and negative thoughts about the  climb, so I try not to think, "Oh no, my trainer will be with me, what if I go too slow? Will I be embarrassed? What am I going to do?" and instead tell myself, the reality is that Jesse wants to help.  He wants to support me. A couple deep breaths later, we cross the start line.

I'm proud of my pace for the first half of the race.  For where I am right now, it is just fine.  I also know that it feels like I've given everything I have, and it's only Floor 52. 

I have to do it again, ...another 51 floors. 

This time I take a little longer break, and thus begins my pattern for the second half.

What am I thinking in the final challenges?  Not even sure.  I'm not holding onto completely cohesive intentions and plans in those moments.  However, one complete and very cohesive factor is Jesse next to me in the stairwell.  I wonder what he's thinking.  I wonder how it must feel for him to take the stairs so very slowly compared to his running speed. 

Also, because he's there, I make sure if I do stop, that it's absolutely necessary.  I make sure I get going again as quickly as possible.  I keep moving even though arms and legs are saying, "No," and nausea is ever-present.  The non-poetic for sure.

Jesse's decision to be there, lets me know I'm ok. I can do this, no matter what.

He didn't say those things. Didn't have to. I was there with all my vulnerabilities, my age, my history, my dreams, the work that I've put in, the work I haven't, and my determination.

Now that it's over, I see more than my struggle on each step. 
Whether I thought I wanted it or not, whether I thought I needed or deserved it or not, I experienced true support, offered without judgement.

Perhaps poetic after all.


P.S.  When I finally looked up my time, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in the middle of the pack of women in the 60 - 69 age group. The winner in my group climbed 103 floors in 27:49,  I finished in the middle of the group with 53:32.  The times went all the way up to one and a half, two and a half, and three and a half hours.

For fun I counted how many women I beat in the different age groups. 
I was faster than 32 others in the 50 - 59 group,
faster than 37 others in the 40 - 49 group,
faster than 51 women in the 30 - 39 ,
and faster than 35 women in the 20 - 29 age group. 

Next time, hopefully I won't have to do this silly calculating...instead I will simply report on a great improvement in my own time!

Minutes after reaching the top.

Seconds after finishing.